Twenty seven years ago tomorrow my dear husband, Jerry, gave me my engagement ring at a small bistro in Claremont, CA. It was charming bistro with wood floors, high ceiling, and a good chardonnay on the wine list...and boy did we need that chardonnay. Because getting to that restaurant turned out to be quite the adventure.
Jerry and I had pretty much decided on New Year's Eve (at the lovely and romantic Two Bunch Palms in Desert Hot Springs) that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. After a bit more soul searching and a little diamond shopping, we decided to make it official on Valentine's Day.
At that time Jerry was working full time for an investment management company in Newport Beach and taught investments part time at the Claremont Business School (about 6o miles inland from NB). I was a partner in a small environmental consulting firm also in Newport Beach and we had a contract with the Claremont planning department. Valentine's Day fell on one of Jerry's "teaching nights" and I had business meetings at Claremont city hall that day.
So we decided to have an early bird dinner at this lovely bistro in charming downtown Claremont before his class. I had one of my employees drop me off at the restaurant where I was to meet Jerry. And where I proceeded to wait and wait and fume and wait and worry and wait.
This was 28 years ago when cell phones were the size of shoes and hardly anybody had a personal one, I certainly didn't. After asking the hostess, too many times to count if Jerry had called, I walked a block from the bistro where there was a pay phone and called his office. They said, "he'd left at 3:00". That was plenty of time to get to Claremont. I thought "OK maybe there was a bad accident and he's stuck in traffic". But I had no way to know because not only is this before the time everyone had a cell phone in their pocket, this was before smart phones and twitter where I could check traffic conditions. So I waited and waited and waited and paced and waited.
All this time I'm looking for his bright red Porsche 911 (which we still own) which is hard to miss in a small quaint downtown. No bright red car. We've now missed dinner and I'm starting to think maybe it was JERRY that was in a car accident and how would I know. I called a good friend in Laguna, no, they hadn't heard from him. And to top everything off, I realize I don't have an easy way home.
So I decide to walk to his classroom. I figured maybe if he was in an accident he might have called the school from the hospital. Maybe someone would be at the classroom to tell me what was going on. So one mile in the dark later I got to his classroom, where I see his students exiting class (when they should have been entering). For a split moment, I think "oh my god, he WAS in an accident". And then, I see him. Relief streamed in, followed quickly by a "What the hell are you doing here? and you better have a really good story mister"
He was equally relieved to see me and yes, he did have a good story. As he drove from work in Newport Beach to the freeway, his clutch went out....bang....just like that. So he pulled over to the side of the road, called AAA, and thought "how the hell am I going to reach Annette" (remember no cell phones). Right about then our friend Susan drove by and saw his car and pulled over.
Jerry quickly brought her up to speed as to his romantic plight and she gamely gave him her green Datsun 240 Z and took over waiting for the AAA. So Jerry drove up to Claremont only to find I was not at the restaurant. Of course I wasn't, I was at the damn phone booth calling his office and our friends and watching for him to drive into town on the main road. (although I did eventually go back to the bistro, he was long gone). I was looking for a bright red 911 not a dark green datson 240 z.
So Jerry did the only thing he could do...he went to the classroom and cancelled class because he figured he was going to have to drive all over hell's half acre to find me (with the engagement ring burning a hole in his pocket). And then, there I was.
The lovely little bistro was fully booked for Valentine's Day. But in the spirit of the day and our adventure, they took pity on us and gave us a cozy table and a great Chardonnay. And so there with a little wine, lot's of relieved laughter, and a beautiful diamond, the rest of our life began...together.
Happy Engagement Anniversary Honey.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
The Komen aftermath: Where Do I go from Here?
Over the past few days , many of us have wallowed in the sh*tstorm that rose up around the Susan G. Komen organization's decision to prohibit Planned Parenthood to apply for future grants and SGK’s uncharacteristic ineptitude in dealing with the uproar that followed. I’ve attempted to figure out exactly what happened and why, how it matters to me, and why I felt so angry and betrayed by an organization to which I’ve given time, energy and money over the past 8 years. So this is what I’ve figured out.
1. The Susan G. Komen organization has the right to decide who and what will get funding based on whatever criteria they choose.
I know, that seems like such an obvious statement. It’s just that I never thought that they would choose to start down a path which is a clear departure from previous policy without being up front about it. I don’t expect them to ask permission, but I do expect them to be honest. They were not. I don’t buy the spin that this isn’t a decision to follow and align themselves more closely with the more conservative right-to-life political and religious groups that have been pressing their agendas for some years now. Besides the Planned Parenthood “change of heart”, SGK (also quietly) has decided to no longer fund any research using embryonic stem cells regardless of its research potential. One has to wonder what other “course corrections” they are considering?
Again, they have the legal right to make these changes to how they spend their funds. But I believe they have the moral and ethical responsibility to tell us, so that we can decide if there is another deserving organization to which we’d prefer to align with.
2. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.
I believe the reason that SGK wasn’t upfront and public about these decisions is because they knew that there would be some long time supporters who would not like the decisions and the trajectory the organization now seems to be on. In other words, they’d like to keep us in the dark so we’d still give of our time and money. Or perhaps they naively believed it wouldn’t matter to some of us because the SGK organization is so spectacularly wonderful that we wouldn’t care. But I don’t think they are that naïve.
The only other explanation would be that they acted hastily with arrogance and little forethought, were not given (or did not follow) good PR/Marketing advice, and underestimated the power of media and social media. Given the sophistication of the SGK organization this also seems implausible to me. (and if it’s true this is worrisome on an entirely different level)
3. Trust, once lost, is hard to win back.
Unfortunately, I believe we were lied to, at the least by omission and silence. And I believe that when “caught” the organization including Nancy Brinker attempted to “spin” the problem instead of talking honestly and in detail as to what was actually going on. So now of course I have to ask myself what other half truths am I listening to? I can’t help it. That’s the way lies work: you lie, it’s hard to believe you the next time.
4. Breast Cancer isn’t the only fish in the pond.
I originally got involved with SGK to honor and celebrate the survival of my mother from breast cancer. I do not regret one single moment or dollar I spent involved in five 3-Day walks. I’ve met hundreds of people who enriched my life. I’ve danced and hugged women (and men) of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds who all carried different histories and reasons for being at a 3Day. I’ve put my arms around women and cried…and laughed. And I know that working as support crew I’ve given back to walkers and survivors as they made their own journeys.
But life moves on. My mother who so valiantly conquered breast cancer eventually succumbed to congestive heart failure and Alzheimer’s after a two year battle where dignity and laughter were hard to come by. She suffered from diabetes and ultimately had a stroke that took her life. Suncoast Hospice was a godsend in her last stages of life giving her kindness and easing her (and my) fears of the final steps of her life’s journey. My sister-in-law died before the age of 60 due to complications diabetes and congestive heart failure.
In other words there are other diseases to be conquered, other needs to be met.
5. So where do I go from here?
Perhaps I should be thankful in some way to the revelation of SGK’s astonishing lapse in honesty. It has caused me to look in greater detail at the makeup of their board and other decisions they’ve recently made. I believe that SGK is going down a path they have every right to choose, but I will choose not to follow. I believe that their future choices regarding grant funding will use as a litmus test whether the group or method of research is something that the conservative pro-life groups will support or not. I believe this could ultimately hurt the provision of health care services and perhaps retard the advancement of research in the treatment of the disease. If you are REALLY serious at helping women and finding better treatment and yes, a “cure”, these issues should be left at the doorstep. But I don’t believe they will be.
And I don't believe if I refuse to give SGK my money that I'm "hurting" the breast cancer cause. They are NOT the only organization dedicated to assisting women battle and survive breast cancer. They are not the only organziation funding breast cancer research. They are not even the only organization organzing walks and races in the name of breast cancer.
So I am turning my immediate attention to finding other organizations related to hospice, breast cancer, and women’s heart issues. I’d love to hear from anyone regarding organizations that they believe are worthy of my time and energy. Just don’t try to sell me on Susan G. Komen.
1. The Susan G. Komen organization has the right to decide who and what will get funding based on whatever criteria they choose.
I know, that seems like such an obvious statement. It’s just that I never thought that they would choose to start down a path which is a clear departure from previous policy without being up front about it. I don’t expect them to ask permission, but I do expect them to be honest. They were not. I don’t buy the spin that this isn’t a decision to follow and align themselves more closely with the more conservative right-to-life political and religious groups that have been pressing their agendas for some years now. Besides the Planned Parenthood “change of heart”, SGK (also quietly) has decided to no longer fund any research using embryonic stem cells regardless of its research potential. One has to wonder what other “course corrections” they are considering?
Again, they have the legal right to make these changes to how they spend their funds. But I believe they have the moral and ethical responsibility to tell us, so that we can decide if there is another deserving organization to which we’d prefer to align with.
2. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.
I believe the reason that SGK wasn’t upfront and public about these decisions is because they knew that there would be some long time supporters who would not like the decisions and the trajectory the organization now seems to be on. In other words, they’d like to keep us in the dark so we’d still give of our time and money. Or perhaps they naively believed it wouldn’t matter to some of us because the SGK organization is so spectacularly wonderful that we wouldn’t care. But I don’t think they are that naïve.
The only other explanation would be that they acted hastily with arrogance and little forethought, were not given (or did not follow) good PR/Marketing advice, and underestimated the power of media and social media. Given the sophistication of the SGK organization this also seems implausible to me. (and if it’s true this is worrisome on an entirely different level)
3. Trust, once lost, is hard to win back.
Unfortunately, I believe we were lied to, at the least by omission and silence. And I believe that when “caught” the organization including Nancy Brinker attempted to “spin” the problem instead of talking honestly and in detail as to what was actually going on. So now of course I have to ask myself what other half truths am I listening to? I can’t help it. That’s the way lies work: you lie, it’s hard to believe you the next time.
4. Breast Cancer isn’t the only fish in the pond.
I originally got involved with SGK to honor and celebrate the survival of my mother from breast cancer. I do not regret one single moment or dollar I spent involved in five 3-Day walks. I’ve met hundreds of people who enriched my life. I’ve danced and hugged women (and men) of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds who all carried different histories and reasons for being at a 3Day. I’ve put my arms around women and cried…and laughed. And I know that working as support crew I’ve given back to walkers and survivors as they made their own journeys.
But life moves on. My mother who so valiantly conquered breast cancer eventually succumbed to congestive heart failure and Alzheimer’s after a two year battle where dignity and laughter were hard to come by. She suffered from diabetes and ultimately had a stroke that took her life. Suncoast Hospice was a godsend in her last stages of life giving her kindness and easing her (and my) fears of the final steps of her life’s journey. My sister-in-law died before the age of 60 due to complications diabetes and congestive heart failure.
In other words there are other diseases to be conquered, other needs to be met.
5. So where do I go from here?
Perhaps I should be thankful in some way to the revelation of SGK’s astonishing lapse in honesty. It has caused me to look in greater detail at the makeup of their board and other decisions they’ve recently made. I believe that SGK is going down a path they have every right to choose, but I will choose not to follow. I believe that their future choices regarding grant funding will use as a litmus test whether the group or method of research is something that the conservative pro-life groups will support or not. I believe this could ultimately hurt the provision of health care services and perhaps retard the advancement of research in the treatment of the disease. If you are REALLY serious at helping women and finding better treatment and yes, a “cure”, these issues should be left at the doorstep. But I don’t believe they will be.
And I don't believe if I refuse to give SGK my money that I'm "hurting" the breast cancer cause. They are NOT the only organization dedicated to assisting women battle and survive breast cancer. They are not the only organziation funding breast cancer research. They are not even the only organization organzing walks and races in the name of breast cancer.
So I am turning my immediate attention to finding other organizations related to hospice, breast cancer, and women’s heart issues. I’d love to hear from anyone regarding organizations that they believe are worthy of my time and energy. Just don’t try to sell me on Susan G. Komen.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
The Jacaranda in January
Today was a mild, breezy day after a day of hard rain, thunder, and wind. We needed the rain and the garden was thankful. So in the sun of this afternoon I took the first 2011 pictures of my tree. She is multi-trunked and gnarled. Her green fern like leaves are shiny green after the rain and seed pods stick up like cowlicks. Seedpods litter the sidewalk below as well. Here are some pics of my Jacaranda on a mild January day in Florida.
The seed pod is a very hard disc that has lots of little flat seeds inside.
I think they look like little sting rays in this picture.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
My Tree for the Year: Jacaranda
I've joined the Tree Year Community where I have pledged to observe, research, write about, photograph, and live around, under, and with one tree for a year. I've chosen the big, mature Jacaranda that graces the front of our home in St Petersburg, Florida. Here it is:
That's the tree on the right of the photo...its sibling is off to the left on the south side of the house. The tree had a rough couple of years with an extended drought and little irrigation due to a two year construction project involving our home. But in the last year, selective pruning, a decent amount of rain, a regular watering schedule, and a bit of fertilizing has brought her back to good health.
I grew up in Southern California where the Jacaranda was a popular street year planted in many of the parkways along the growing suburbs of So Cal developed in the 1950s. I used to love to drive down streets in Whittier filled with huge old Jacarandas vividly purple in spring when they bloomed. And where the streets had a dusting of lavender from falling petals. I then spent nearly 20 years away from a "Mediterranean" climate which the Jacaranda so loves. In moving to Florida last year, I've come back into the climate zone loved by one of my favorite trees. I look forward to seeing its beauty throughout the year.
A few facts about the Jacaranda:
There are over 50 different types of Jacaranda. J. mimosifilia is the type most common in Florida and for now I assume is the type I have growing in my front yard. It will usually bloom twice a year. It likes sandy, well drained soils.It is hardy in zones 9 - 11. It is usually propagated from seed. Selected varieties are grafted.
And one lovely legend:
If a jacaranda petal falls on your head, you'll be blessed with good luck.
That's the tree on the right of the photo...its sibling is off to the left on the south side of the house. The tree had a rough couple of years with an extended drought and little irrigation due to a two year construction project involving our home. But in the last year, selective pruning, a decent amount of rain, a regular watering schedule, and a bit of fertilizing has brought her back to good health.
I grew up in Southern California where the Jacaranda was a popular street year planted in many of the parkways along the growing suburbs of So Cal developed in the 1950s. I used to love to drive down streets in Whittier filled with huge old Jacarandas vividly purple in spring when they bloomed. And where the streets had a dusting of lavender from falling petals. I then spent nearly 20 years away from a "Mediterranean" climate which the Jacaranda so loves. In moving to Florida last year, I've come back into the climate zone loved by one of my favorite trees. I look forward to seeing its beauty throughout the year.
A few facts about the Jacaranda:
There are over 50 different types of Jacaranda. J. mimosifilia is the type most common in Florida and for now I assume is the type I have growing in my front yard. It will usually bloom twice a year. It likes sandy, well drained soils.It is hardy in zones 9 - 11. It is usually propagated from seed. Selected varieties are grafted.
And one lovely legend:
If a jacaranda petal falls on your head, you'll be blessed with good luck.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Why I Love Twitter.
I love Twitter. There I’ve said it. It’s not for everybody. I may be addicted. But I don’t care. I love it anyway. The question is, why? I think there isn’t just one answer to that. But one thing I do know, is that I love feeling connected to a larger world: a world beyond my geographic and experiential boundaries. Maybe it’s similar to the urge I had when I was in junior high to have a pen pal in a foreign country. Only this is immediate and I have many, many “pen pals”.
Take for example @familyonbikes. I started following Nancy and her family over a year ago when they were somewhere in Central America on their bicycling journey from Alaska to Tierra del Fuego. I was attracted to their spirit and sense of adventure. I was fascinated (although not envious) of a family who would set off with twin 10 year old boys and take 3 years to bike the length of the Americas. They have shared their adventure through their blog the entire distance. They are now in Bolivia and I have experienced some small part of their journey every few days through their tweets, photos, and videos. We’ve shared a few laughs via twitter. And many of us have given words of encouragement when the trip was going tougher than expected. And this morning I got up to watch the Vogel family via Skype on @GMA Good Morning America as they were spotlighted on a Family segment. I’m sure many of their followers across the US were doing the same, cheering them on and wishing Tim a Happy Birthday. For about 5 minutes there, the world got very small. (check them out at http://www.familyonbikes.org/)
One of my favorite adventuresome tweeps of all time is @aeevans (formerly @bus2antarctica). I heard about him through a National Geographic tweep @marilyn_res just as he was starting his epic bus trip from Washington DC to the tip of Tierra del Fuego (seems to be a popular route these days). For the 6 weeks or so it took him to travel, I, along with a whole fan club of tweeps, followed his every word as he described his journey through words and photos (he has since published an article in National Geographic Traveler Magazine). He is now off exploring Greenland and again sharing his journey, discoveries, and observations in 140 characters or less. He really is one of the best at creating wonderful word pictures in so short of space. A recent tweet from Greenland:
Everyone smiles here. Everybody waves, even from half a mile away. Out of the emptiness, acknowledgment of another human life
Then there is a new “follow” of mine: @followengine. 28,000 miles, 5 Continents, 26 countries, and 1 Fire Engine: a Charity trek by a young man who lost his father to lung cancer. This will be an epic adventure as he, along with a series of “crews”. will drive the truck around the world raising monies for 3 charities and raising awareness. They have just finished Stage 1 (the Mongol Rally) which ended in Ulaan Bataar and they are now headed to the Chinese Border. Their website maps their GPS coordinates, has a blog, and information about how to donate. Here’s a recent tweet:
It's not often in life you camp in a field and then suddenly a train on the Trans-Siberian Railway rattles past. Glorious!!!!!!
I follow birders and nature lovers across the United States even a woman who used to live on a narrowboat on a canal in the Midlands of England and loves to band birds. I tweet with Tampa and St Pete locals which has enriched my experience of getting settled in a new place. I follow people who are clever with words, talented with a camera, adverturous in spirit. I've reconnected with an old friend from the Pacific Northwest experiencing her through her very clever words. Yes, I follow a few dogs and cats (ones with pretty darned clever owners if you ask me) and even a Canadian squirrel. I follow a British expat who lives in Bali and who Jerry and I met In Real Life (IRL) last year when we visited Bali, I’ve started searching out interesting Italian tweeps in preparation for my 2011 fall travel plans. I follow bakers, readers, writers, animal lovers, travelers, and food lovers. Basically I follow people with interesting things to say and who are generous in spirit. I can't wait to find out who I meet up with next.
Take for example @familyonbikes. I started following Nancy and her family over a year ago when they were somewhere in Central America on their bicycling journey from Alaska to Tierra del Fuego. I was attracted to their spirit and sense of adventure. I was fascinated (although not envious) of a family who would set off with twin 10 year old boys and take 3 years to bike the length of the Americas. They have shared their adventure through their blog the entire distance. They are now in Bolivia and I have experienced some small part of their journey every few days through their tweets, photos, and videos. We’ve shared a few laughs via twitter. And many of us have given words of encouragement when the trip was going tougher than expected. And this morning I got up to watch the Vogel family via Skype on @GMA Good Morning America as they were spotlighted on a Family segment. I’m sure many of their followers across the US were doing the same, cheering them on and wishing Tim a Happy Birthday. For about 5 minutes there, the world got very small. (check them out at http://www.familyonbikes.org/)
One of my favorite adventuresome tweeps of all time is @aeevans (formerly @bus2antarctica). I heard about him through a National Geographic tweep @marilyn_res just as he was starting his epic bus trip from Washington DC to the tip of Tierra del Fuego (seems to be a popular route these days). For the 6 weeks or so it took him to travel, I, along with a whole fan club of tweeps, followed his every word as he described his journey through words and photos (he has since published an article in National Geographic Traveler Magazine). He is now off exploring Greenland and again sharing his journey, discoveries, and observations in 140 characters or less. He really is one of the best at creating wonderful word pictures in so short of space. A recent tweet from Greenland:
Everyone smiles here. Everybody waves, even from half a mile away. Out of the emptiness, acknowledgment of another human life
Then there is a new “follow” of mine: @followengine. 28,000 miles, 5 Continents, 26 countries, and 1 Fire Engine: a Charity trek by a young man who lost his father to lung cancer. This will be an epic adventure as he, along with a series of “crews”. will drive the truck around the world raising monies for 3 charities and raising awareness. They have just finished Stage 1 (the Mongol Rally) which ended in Ulaan Bataar and they are now headed to the Chinese Border. Their website maps their GPS coordinates, has a blog, and information about how to donate. Here’s a recent tweet:
It's not often in life you camp in a field and then suddenly a train on the Trans-Siberian Railway rattles past. Glorious!!!!!!
I follow birders and nature lovers across the United States even a woman who used to live on a narrowboat on a canal in the Midlands of England and loves to band birds. I tweet with Tampa and St Pete locals which has enriched my experience of getting settled in a new place. I follow people who are clever with words, talented with a camera, adverturous in spirit. I've reconnected with an old friend from the Pacific Northwest experiencing her through her very clever words. Yes, I follow a few dogs and cats (ones with pretty darned clever owners if you ask me) and even a Canadian squirrel. I follow a British expat who lives in Bali and who Jerry and I met In Real Life (IRL) last year when we visited Bali, I’ve started searching out interesting Italian tweeps in preparation for my 2011 fall travel plans. I follow bakers, readers, writers, animal lovers, travelers, and food lovers. Basically I follow people with interesting things to say and who are generous in spirit. I can't wait to find out who I meet up with next.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Gray Days Just Need a Splash of Color
Its a gray drizzly day today in Montreal. For our walk we decided to walk down to the Classic Boat Show (think wooden boats) at the Lachine Locks in the Old Port. I debated whether to take my camera, since photography on a gray and rainy day is often not very interesting...but I thought: A Challenge! Let's Find the Color on a Gray Day. So here is the result:
Saturday, August 21, 2010
I Made a Friend Today at Marche Montreal (and got myself a Chickapug)
I've been on Twitter over a year now (@abaesel2)and have found interesting, clever, informative, and engaging people in the Twitterverse. Its always a real treat to meet one of my twitter friends IRL (In Real Life) especially when they turn out to be as charming and interesting as their tweets. And such was the case today, when I met Kelly Brown AKA @misskitteh9. Kelly, as she describes herself on twitter, is a digital artist, photographer, and Photoshop fanatic. I had seen some of her work on her Esty site: http://www.etsy.com/shop/kellydbrown and loved it. Today I got to see her AND her work IRL at the Marche Montreal. Kelly has a wide variety of subjects from Paris and Montreal to alpacas and marmots, from gardens and butterflies to horses and handsome dogs. And then there is Chickapug (or is that Pugadee?) Well, whatever you call the cute fella, I got my very own "Chickapug" (magnet) today. Wanna see?
The Marche Montreal is in its formative stages having just started its Saturday gatherings on August 12th. Located in a parking lot on St Dominique near Prince Arthur Street, the goal of the market is to provide a venue for artists, craftspersons, food vendors, musicians, jewelry makers and fashion designers, as well as secondhand goods sellers. Although still small, there were interesting things for sale today and a talented jazz guitarist was playing as we left. The market is just one block over from St. Laurent and easy to get to by car, on foot, or public transportation. Here is a website with more info: http://marchemtl.wordpress.com/
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| Copyright by Kelly D Brown |
The Marche Montreal is in its formative stages having just started its Saturday gatherings on August 12th. Located in a parking lot on St Dominique near Prince Arthur Street, the goal of the market is to provide a venue for artists, craftspersons, food vendors, musicians, jewelry makers and fashion designers, as well as secondhand goods sellers. Although still small, there were interesting things for sale today and a talented jazz guitarist was playing as we left. The market is just one block over from St. Laurent and easy to get to by car, on foot, or public transportation. Here is a website with more info: http://marchemtl.wordpress.com/
Oh and here we are....@missketteh9 and @abaesel2 at the Marche Montreal.
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